StarkBaned (TonyXReader) OneShot

It was a regular day in New York City. Not much was going on except for that the mayor was passing another law on junk food that no one liked, but that was a normal thing. This left there to not be much excitement leaving the whole city board. Especially the… well let’s say ‘less rounded citizens’. And (F/N) (L/N) and Tony Stark fit perfectly into this category. So with all of their boredom the two decided to go shopping. Now this would be all nice and pip-an-dandy IF it wasn’t (F/N) and Tony going out together. In a big city. With no adult supervision… Pray for their lives.

“Tony, look it’s a StarBucks,” (F/N) repeatedly poked him in the arm attempting to get his attention.

“And there is a pack of white girls migrating for the fall to get there pumpkin spiced who knows what,” He responded sarcastically which got him a playful punch in the arm. (F/N) rolled her eyes and stuck her tong out while skipping on into the shop, Stark fallowing obediently. (Surprising, I know)

“Hello, can I take your order,” The teen behind the counter asked with such excitement she could have exploded! (You her my sarcasm right?)

“Well I sure hope you can,” (F/N) said with a smile plastered onto her face. “I will have a bag of cake pops and a Hazelnut Veranda Blend with extra mike.” The lady behind the counter wrote down the order and then turned to Tony.

“Yeah… I’ll have a second of whatever she got, but with a normal amount of milk,” He glanced over at the younger woman who nodded in approval.

“Names,” the teen asked. This overall surprised Tony. Who didn’t know who he was? He was like the Bruce Wane of real life. You had to live under a rock, in an old creaky shed, in the middle of a deserted island that snowed year round, in Africa to not know who he was.

“Spartacus, and this is my friend who is also named Spartacus,” He said tong dripping with sarcasm. The teen just gave him a look. The kind that you give your mom when she makes a bad joke, but she still wrote Sparticus down on the cups. ‘Wonder how this will play out’ (F/N) thought. ‘Can’t be as bad as he time he attempted to fill a swimming pool with pudding, but that was really entertaining to watch… especially when he pulled Nat in with him. Did he even have anyone look at that broken nose? What about Steve’s twisted kneecap? Or was it Hunter, that weird kid down the street that had the twisted knee cap. Do penguins have knees? Maybe they have backwards knees-‘

(F/N)’s train wreck of a thought was then interrupted by shouting, “One Hazelnut Veranda Blend for Sparticus.” The entire shop seemed to stop, everyone became quite. Well almost everyone.

“I am Sparticus!” Tony proclaimed while trotting up to the counter. The shop still stayed quite with people being more befuddled than before.

“No, I am Sparticus,” An old graying man wearing large sunglasses stood up. Then one by one each person said that they were the true Sparticus creating such a commotion!

!@#$%^&*(!)!)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*(!)!)(*&^%$#@!!@#$%^&*(!)!)(*&^%$#@!

“And so that is the story of how your father and I got banned from StarBucks kids,” (F/N) smiled sweetly and patted her youngest child on the head.

“It wasn’t as good at the Taco story poppa told us.”

“Well next time I will tell you the miraculous tale of how we got trampled by PopTarts.”